Losing out to the Assholes -- “Why do the Nice girls go for the Asshole guys?”

Now, before I begin my explanation into this question, let me start by defining two words: ASSHOLE and NICE.

As defined by Merriam-Webster:
Asshole: A usually vulgar- stupid, incompetent, or detestable person
Nice: Socially acceptable: well bred

Okay Class, lets re-phrase the question with our new definitions in place:
“Why do the -SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE, WELL BRED- girls go for the – USUALLY VULGAR, STUPID AND INCOMPETENT- guys? "

Now, lets just be honest here, we women know whats up. We can spot a typical “Nice Guy” from a MILE AWAY! Of course, moments after doing so, WE WILL THEN RUN A MILE THE OTHER DIRECTION! Then somehow, someway, we run right into the Asshole and we melt like butter in his asshole presence.

What is so appealing about that stupid and incompetent Asshole you may ask ???

A guy who CLEARLY isn’t thinking too much, because after all assholes are defined as stupid, is a man much more desirable than the cry-baby Nice Guy, who is left cooing every time you cuddle with him! The typical "Nice Guy" constantly asks if everything he does is okay, acts completely insecure by trying putting you on lock down right away and try's to hang out 24/7! Oh-Em-Gee, that is CREEPY! We don’t want a man who is more emotional than we are! Period. We want a man to be our rock, our sensibility, our strength; and although it may be a fantasy to expect to DATE the ASSHOLE MAN, the underlined qualities are still the same.

Note: The asshole man or boy does not always equal a relationship, but it DOES equal an exciting rendezvous a girl is not bound to get bored with easily.

Assholes have game. Nice Guys DON’T. It’s as Simple as that.
So listen up, Nice Guys; everyone is in the game, there is NO choice.
So… if you HAVE to play, you might as well win.

So the real question becomes, "How do Nice Guys obtain some the qualities of the asshole man with out actually BECOMING an asshole?". You must take the good Asshole qualities out and apply them to your own game (or lack there of).

An Asshole provides 4 Character traits that women FLOCK to:
1) Confidence
2) Ambition
3) Protectiveness
4) Sensitivity (in limited amounts)

Assholes have confidence. And a lot of it! They aren’t scared to make jokes, poke fun at you from time to time, show you off, and aren’t scared if you talk to another member of the male species. They never feel the need to stand over your shoulder to make sure you aren’t giving out your number to their best friend, they let you do your thing—Because they are doing THEIR thing. Which brings me to point number 2…

Assholes have a life! They give you freedom because they’re busy with their schedule, so they don’t have time to be jealous and most certainly aren’t sitting at your front door step waiting for you to get home! Assholes appear to understand the law of scarcity, which means that WHATEVER is given in limited amounts is deemed more valuable than something that is readily available. We appreciate when a man has got interesting stuff going on in his life and has to make special time in order to see us. We then deem him as VALUABLE. Value is all perception!

On the flip side; Assholes aren’t scared to protect what is theirs. Getting into a fist-fight isn’t always necessary but just knowing all we need to do is give our man a nudge and he would be more than happy to take someone outside, is a comforting feeling. Assholes don’t ask your permission when it comes to protecting you, THEY JUST DO IT. You don’t see roosters stopping to question their instincts by asking all the HENS if they MIND if they protect them; THEY JUST GO AT EACH OTHER! May the best cock win.
Even though we say we hate it, WE DON’T. We like it when a man isn’t scared to defend our honor! A man who ISN’T WILLING to get into a cock-fight for us is nothing more than a scared little chicken who belongs in a little chicken coop.

No woman wants a scared little chicken- Assholes know that. Assholes also know that protecting is a JOB and that from time-to-time a break is in order.(And this, my dear friends, is where the Assholes REALLY get it right.) At this point, the Asshole takes off the armor he’s been lugging around and shows that he is really just as vulnerable as we are.
We then feel like we have achieved something because the invincible soldier has FINALLY shown us his true colors and shared some of those deep rooted feelings. Which is exactly why we are then inclined to fall completely in love with him …or sleep with him... or both.

A REAL Asshole uses these techniques to his advantage in order to get a girl in bed and if he is working with a non-savvy woman, he will have NO PROBLEM getting EXACTLY that.

The Nice Guy, however, will use these techniques to show a woman that he interested in being in a relationship and WON’T try to sleep with her right away. Which, in turn, keeps her around for a LONG time. The NICE GUY will get his NICE GIRL and she will stay away from all the Assholes because she will realize what a rare commodity a Nice Guy actually is!!!

Starved for Connection. What's the correction ?

I’m hungry for a taste of true love.

I'm starved for connection.

There is one person I want it from, AND I'M NOT GETTING IT!

I don’t get it!!

What do you do when you think you had that 'special connection', and then all at once you find out that it may not be what you though it was or that person may not be capable of connecting to you the way you thought they were (or once were). What if their life overwhelms them so much that they can’t be in yours?

Does it come down to two people choosing to connect? Choosing to be together and connect, even when times are tough and they are stressed out?

Does it just take some time to reconfigure yourself when you haven’t seen that person in a while?

I wanna undo it.
This is a mess.

I want to be happy and in love.

I want to feel special to the man I am with.

I don’t want to feel like I am burden in any way.

I want that person to not be scared to treat me like he loves me.

If you have sex with someone you could love, shouldn’t you feel more connected to them after?? Why is it that I feel the opposite?

My heart needs relief.

I hate this honesty, but I'm just going to say it; I'm not feeling this. I'm not feeling him. I feel like he isn’t there. I want more than what he is giving. I believed he was capable of giving emotionally and maybe he isn’t.

The 'strange' feeling I've had over the last few weeks has been me realizing he isn't giving to the relationship emotionally. The truth is, I don’t know if I can continue to care about him at a high priority level if I don’t receive emotional connection back. I thought it would change when I saw him and he would start giving emotionally.. at lease in some way… and nothing.

I should be glowing.


R.D...F.U